Death Doula: Soul Midwife
Death Doulas and Soul Midwives may feel a relatively ‘new’ concept in our modern day Western Culture, but they are more what I would call a ‘reclaiming’ of an old way being, that recognised the importance of our dying time, our deaths and the care of our Souls after we die. In my role as a Death Doula : Soul midwife I am a non medical, holistic companion. This means that I do not work with you in a medical capacity, nor do I provide services of a Carer.
My role is one that supports you from a holistic postion, as I would do a beloved friend in their dying time.
I am also not here to romantise death, if you have ever witnessed anyone passing you will know that it can be tough, scary and sad, but it can also be a beautiful and calm experience, and as a Death Doula : Soul Midwidfe this is were I come in. One of my most important roles is to meet you where you are, whether you have just received a terminal diagnoisis, or you are in your dying time, whether you are full of anger, or filled with the deepest of sadness or a have a sense of profound and unexpected love. I meet you, just exactly as you are. And thoughout our time together that is exaclty where I will always meet you, every time. I will be there with a deep, compassionate, listening heart and a gentle hand to help support and guide you though the stages of dying , in whatever way that feels right for you.
If you would like to know more about my work as a Death Doula : Soul Midwife, please pull up a chair and carry on reading.
Alternatively if you would like to book a free 30 minute call with me drop me an email at hello@weavingwonderment.com
How working with me can look.
My work as Death Doula/ Soul Midwife can look very different from person to person as my support is completely guided by you. Depending on where in your dying time our paths cross and/or, your reason for calling on my support, our time together may be just a couple of sessions or stretched over a much longer period. However, what is important is if you feel my services may be helpful, at anytime in your dying time, then please feel free to to contact me, regardless of whether we have worked together before or not.
In the example below I am going to explore how working with me shortly after you have received a terminal diagnosis may look & feel.
Recieving the news that we are terminally ill can be completely disorientating and leave us with a whole range of emotions, we can be scared , fearful or worried and everything inbetween, One of my teachers used to talk about how for most us of ‘dying’ is what happens to someone else. Its too big for us to fathom and so when we are told we are dying it can be too much to take in, what i need to tell you here is that this is a normal response.
With all my clients I offer a free 30 minute, no obligation call. This time can be for you talk to me about anything your want to, but I will normally ask you what you know about your diagnosis and I will normally use the terms Death, Dying and End of Life, unless you specifically asked me not to. During our call we can have a gentle conversation, if it feels right for you, about your thoughts and feeling around your diagnosis and what your reasons for contacting me are. You are also more than welcome to share with me all those feelings around your diagnosis that you may not want to share with your loved ones.
Finding the next steps…..
Maybe you just need a listening ear or someone to hold your hand, or perhaps you need support in creating your End of Life plan or talking through what a good death looks and feels like for you - who do want with you & where you would like to die? With everyone I work with the next steps we take together will be very personal, but listed below are some of the things I often help people with:
Exploring the lost death rites
Help in getting you affairs your in order
Planning what you would like the rest of your life to look like- whats on your bucket list?
What would like to happen with your body after you have died.
What legacies you may want to leave for your family, such as letters or videos.
Maybe there is something you want to create or a project you would like to finish.
We can also explore things such as various healing modalites, such as gentle touch, sound healing , breathwork and guided meditations and really get a sense of what soothes your nervous sytems, which we can then used to support your when you enter the active dying time.
When people reach out to me shortly after a diagnosis I often find that once we have done the planning and we have got the more mundane activities in order they can get on really living the rest of their lives, knowing that practicalites of the end part of their dying time is taken care of. Quite often the next time I hear from them is when there is a change in their health and they are moving into a more active dying time
Remember, my work with your can look very different to this depending on many factors, including how much additonal support you feel you will need. For example, you may need my support you when you are attending medicial appointments, or checking on you if you are having treatments and supporting you though the various healing modalitiles I offer.
During your dying time and caring for your Soul.
As you move into the active dying phase I can support both you and your families in a number ways tailored exactly to your own needs. As a example this may include:
Providing respite to your family by companioning you whilst they have some space and time to do normal home activites such as shopping, , taking care of children, or to run erands. I may find myself sitting and reading to you, or doing some healing work, such as gentle touch or breathwork.
Holding space, holding your hand, listening to you.
Supporting your family or loved ones in creating the space you most desire, for example a peaceful space, or a place filled with laughter and joy,
Supporting your family gently as you move into your active dying stage and reminding them that death is a natural process that most often just needs a loving support and an open hearted presence.
You may like me to support you in any difficult conversations.
It may be, depending on your circumstances, you may like me to hold Vigil for you as your move closer to your death. This means I will be with before, during and after your dying time, supporting you with a ranges of holistic modalities to sooth your nervous system and steady your soul.
I can also support in caring for your body and soul after you have died
What I will always be is a advocate of your wishes. The role of a Death Doula : Soul Midwife is to help support you so that your death can be what you want it to be, be that though medical sedation, or in your home surrounded by your family and friends.
As a Death Doula I have trained with Soul Midwives & Journey to Death as well as completing a mentorship on Ancient Death Rites with an Irish Elder, who really ignited my passion for Death Work and reclaiming the lost rites of these lands.
Weaving the Spiritual Care into Death and Dying.
As a Shamanic Practitioner my role with Death is perhaps slightly different that most. Whilst I practice as Death Doula : Soul Midwife in non-religious way, honoring your personal practices and religious beliefs, I am also happy to, upon your request , to weave into our work together some of the old practices that would have been part of our forgotten Death Rites., these include Soul Retrieval, Psycompomp, Shamanic Drum journey and Clearing the Way. this is done at no additional cost.
These are things we can discuss on our initial call and also keep revisiting as we circle through our time together.
“But why are you my beloved Death?,” Death exhales and staring intently into the eyes of my soul replies, “because only I can be the balance of your love””
“Dying is time for untying the knots of strength, competence and familairity that have bound us to our bodies.”