Grief Rituals

Having rituals in our lives can be a really nourishing practice, particularly in times of grief.

They can help us bring the unseen into our consciousness and, from here give us an opportunity to honor, express and release what we are holding deep inside.

Very often our communities do not feel a safe enough place to share some of our deepest sadness, particularly if what we are grieving about does not fit with the societal expectations …….cue disenfranchised grief.

For grief to transform it has to be witnessed and that can be really hard for people who cannot find a safe place to be heard, without judgement . So I thought I would share one of my most beloved grief rituals, as an example of other ways we can help transform our grief when we struggle to find a human community to witness us.

The Womb of Mother Earth

I stand on the edge of the womb of Mother Earth, the place where all of creation is born , a place where we will all return to. From this edge place I can feel the deepest of connections to all the More than Human World. Here there is sense that every being & every place is connected, from to the depths of the sea, to the furthest lands, to the seen and unseen, a portal place of between the worlds.

I am stood at the edge of the sea, at the edge of the Womb of Mother Earth.

And there are days when I wake up and my soul calls for the sea, there are other days where I schedule to go. But, I always go with purpose & normally alone, this is not a day out for me, its a sacred act, a well practiced ritual.

I have 3 things that I observe whenever I am doing threshold and ritual work that feel important to me - I am doing something bigger, something that needs to be held by boundaries, so

-.I do not speak to other humans

-.I do not eat

- I do not use any man made shelters.

As I walk down towards her edge, I ask if I can step in.

She knows why I am here, and though I have done this many times I still wait for a clear 'YES'. Sometimes that comes right away, sometimes its a little longer.

As I step in I feel her cold , salty waters lap against my toes & I exhale and flow.

I keep the eyes of my heart and my complete attention fully turned towards her, in deep conversation, sharing all my griefs, the small ones, the deep ones, the ones that I only share here, the ones I feel only she can hold.

Some days I am there for a moment, other days I am there for hours - allowing my soul to unfold and speak what needs to be said.

And when I am done and when I have spoken all my griefs and have shed all my tears, I give huge love & deep gratitude and leave a gift, normally some strands of hair form my head, a symbol of something I have nurtured and grown and I turn and walk back up the beach, deeply knowing that the griefs I have shared will be transformed in the Womb of all creation into something beyond beautiful.

I do not look back.

My conversations with her , stay with her, they are never shared, not by her and never by me . Most often I could not recount what was said anyway as I allow my soul, not my head, to speak here.

I am fully witnesses and my grief is fully heard by all of everything and I am held , safely and without judgement by the more than human community.

Rituals support us, particularly in times of sadness and grief. We can use them as markers and thresholds, places to step through or to sit with a little longer. They can be simple acts , such as carrying a grief stone or grief vessel, or finding a tree to sit with, or a gentle stream, a morning practice or something you do in the evening as sun begins to set, what is important is making it a sacred act and allowing your soul permission to speak.

And if you feel like you need support with your grief please reach out.

I can support you through my 1:1 Grief Sessions, where we can tailor our time together in a way that fully supports you, or alternatively we have the Monthly Grief Cafe which is is gentle and beautiful place to express your grief, here we can hold in you love and warmth and witness your grief, either spoken our unspoken.

More details can be found on in ‘ My offerings’ and on my ‘Events’ pages.

Much Love. xxx